Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I Hate New Moms

I don't know about you, but new parents annoy the heck out of me.

Oh, come on. You know what I'm talking about. Every sentence out of their mouth is "My baby this" & "My baby that" and on and on it goes.

When I had my kiddos, I did the public a favor....and hid! LOL I did not want to become a caricature of mommyhood.

Now don't get me wrong. I love babies. I love to hear about my friends' babies. But not 24/7.

Another aspect of "New Parents On The Block" that gets me are the newborn photos. Those "adorable" ones that they take with your baby swaddled in their hospital-issued receiving blanket and donning the gender-neutral pink & blue hat.

Yes, I'm sure that just aged me right there. But all parents from my generation know what pictures I'm talking about.

The thing is, every baby is beautiful. To its MOMMY & DADDY. But to the average Joe, most new under-a-week old babies look like teeny tiny aliens.

But these photos get shoved in our faces &....what? We have to say, "Oh! What a cutie!" Or something equally vague. What am I supposed to say? "Hey...maybe he'll grow into that nose!" or even "Oh geez. I guess what they say about 2 great looking parents having ugly kids is true, eh?"

Actually, recently a friend of mine had a baby. And I was blown away by how absolutely gorgeous her baby was. And I told her that her baby was so beautiful. But then I was afraid that SHE thought that I thought that her baby was just another alien-baby. But what could I say?! "Hey, for real! Your baby is just amazingly gorgeously beautiful! And I'm not just saying that like I did when so-and-so had her baby!"

So I had to just leave it at my original comment & send her my TRUE FEELINGS via telepathy.

Hope you got my telepathic messages, friend!

Well, yeah, so back to my point.

New parents & their incessant new baby talk annoy me.

But here's the truth: I am being an annoying new parent in a whole different way.

You see, cloth diapering, natural parenting, attachment parenting, trying to cut out a lot of chemicals from my & my family's lives....THAT'S my new baby.

And I know I have to be annoying the buttercream out of some of you. Most of you? ............. ALL of you?!!! Oh man, I hope its not all of you..... LOL

So, let me just say that I am sorry. I never meant to get this into it. But I have.

My trying to convince you all to *at the utmost very least* try cloth diapers & toxin-free baby wash isn't me trying to force my hippy ideals on you. I am HONESTLY concerned for your baby's health. I have been reading of the horrible things these chemicals are doing to our babies (things that we may not be able to see) & it just scares me.

So the next time you hear me start in on going chem-free, before you roll your eyes & think "Oh, that stupid hippy & her annoying ranting", just bear in mind that I'm a...."new mommy". ;-)
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